After taking a monster of an exam, 5 grueling hours, a few of my friends and I went to local diner near school just to relax and share good company after a long day (2 came from work and 2 were also taking exams.) We ate, we laughed, we sang along with the Christmas carols playing in the background. After dinner we split up outside the diner to go to our cars and I went in one direction with two of them. What followed can most likely only be explained by entropy or perhaps even chaos theory. One minute we’re walking to our cars and the next we’re in this ridiculous tangled mess of violence. One friend put the other in a headlock, so to retaliate, the one in the headlock grabbed my arm and started twisting it, in which case I started kicking (and missing) in order to get my arm out of his death grip.  So there we were, three young adults, all soon to be attorneys, pummeling each other in a diner’s parking lot.

It was all over within a minute, and we laughed about it as we walked the few feet left to reach our cars. It made no sense at the time (ok, so maybe I instigated the headlock, so it did make sense) but oddly enough, it was a perfect ending to a nice outing. And even more importantly, it shed some light on a verse I’d been thinking about lately: “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6).

I’d rather get pummeled with love by a true friend any day, than hear words of praise or advice from an “enemy,” which would do nothing but breed grief and sorrow in the end.

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When I was younger I often struggled with one particular question endlessly. I asked everyone I could for an answer, parents, friends, Sunday school teachers, priests, bishops, anyone and everyone I could reach. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how one could go about living Christian love, a love that endures and gives and gives even to those who hate us, without getting hurt. All my attempts at living this love ended up with me sorely hurt and terribly afraid to try again (although through His grace, I always did try again.)

“Where do you draw the line?” I would ask over and over again. And every time I would never really get an answer. I grew even more upset and frustrated. All I could think was, so basically, if I live a life of love then I am guaranteed to get hurt endlessly for the rest of my life. Where do you draw the line? It didn’t seem right. Christ didn’t say come to me all you weary and feel even worse. After all, joy and peace are just two of the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

My answer came one day some time ago in a lightening bolt-like moment when I was reading over this part of the Sermon on the Mount:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

The answer plainly looked me in the face. He says nothing at all about drawing any lines, therefore one cannot be drawn if one intends to live His words and commandments. I could not love and give and serve to a certain point and then stop once I hit my line in the sand. No, in fact, He tells us to go two miles when we are asked only to go one, give to those who ask, and never turn away one who wants to borrow.

So if one can’t draw a line, then it’s a lifetime of hurt and tears?

No, not quite… You see, I was having what I have now come to refer to as an application confusion problem. This can be better explained by giving another experience of mine where I asked about the now-false proverbial line between love and pain. During a rough patch in life, I ended up going through what at the time seemed like a gross betrayal of trust (things are always so big in the moment and so much smaller in hindsight.) I went back and forth with my father of confession about it, me declaring that I couldn’t trust this person any longer and falling into the depths of my line-drawing despair, when he promptly stopped me and said, “You don’t have to trust her to treat her with love and respect.”

And so my lightening-bolt moment was really when what he had said to me and the excerpt from the Sermon on the Mount collided to create understanding. Since then, I have learned to put my heart in the hands of few, in the hands of those who reflect the Godliness I want in my life. To live a life of Christian love, one does not need to hand one’s heart away to every person along the path, more often than not people will be callous and careless with it. Instead, I learned that it meant to open up my heart to every person along the path. And the only way the heart can remain open to everyone and yet remain protected is when it is placed in the hands of God. He simultaneously shields it and multiplies its love and strengthens it. So ultimately the heart is made of extraordinary mettle, strong yet gentle like its Creator and Perfecter.

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.”

There are times when we just need to let go of our fears and allow others to be a part of our world. It may not always work out, we may face lots of disappointment, we may end up on our own in the end, but it is a chance worth taking. Words like respect, trust, and love lose their meaning and their weight when they are simply verbalized. We must show respect, trust, and love. Anything less is grand theft. We not only cheat others but we cheat ourselves.

Take the leap. You may be very surprised at who is there to catch you.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17).

Tell those you love how much you appreciate them. They may not be there tomorrow.

Currently listening to (on repeat): “All Fall Down” by Onerepublic

You’re only gonna get what you give away. (So give Love.)

Currently Listening to: Goodnight by Dry Kill Logic

This has been around for a while but I only came across it recently. It made me smile… as cheesy as it may sound, after watching it I was reminded that Love truly knows no boundaries.